In the middle of writing my last blog entry, I heard from an old friend that our mutual friend Angel's little brother TJ had passed away in a motorcycle accident. If you know me, you know that 5 years ago I lost my best friend Trevor. He too, was on his motorcycle. He was hit in Dixon by a big rig that didn't see him. I visited the accident site this past September. The things surrounding the site (a Cattlemen's steakhouse across from it and an abandoned parking lot to the left of it) seem so cold and uninviting. To think that my greatest, bestest, most beautiful guy best friend had breathed his last breath there.After Trevor's death, I told myself that I never wanted anyone to experience the feelings that I felt on September 12, 2005. (The day he died.) Now, I always drive extra carefully whenever I'm sharing the road with motorcyclists. My godfather also died in a motorcyle accident. I was just a baby so I don't remember him. The point of this blog is not to say that motorcycles are bad or dangerous, or that these 3 deaths have something in common.
The picture above is of Angel and her 2 brothers. TJ is on the left. I only met him once, this past March at a party. I took this picture about 3 seconds after I met him. I didn't know him at all, only having said probably about 5 words to him, but he seemed to be kind hearted and welcoming when I met him. And of course, so handsome! I know how much Angel loved her brother...he was her best friend. I can't even fathom losing a sibling.
Many years ago, Angel and I worked for the same company. We partied with the same crowd but eventually grew apart. I still care about her greatly. In hindsight, I wish I could tell her to hold her brother close. Closer than she already had. I wished I had told Trevor just how important he was to me. I don't remember ever telling him that I loved him.
Angel and I still comment each other on Facebook from time to time. I just now noticed that TJ had commented on my picture that I posted. "Bob Marley everyday." he said. It seems a little detached to leave my condolences on her Facebook page. If Angel ever finds this blog post, I hope I don't come across as being disrespectful to her or her family for writing this. I so desperately want to be there for her. It also seems out of the blue to call her and I know she just wants to be surrounded by her family. My heart is breaking for her. So I say to everyone: always tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Never part or go to bed angry at each other. Even if you hadn't talked to someone in a millon years, at least wish them "happy birthday" when their special day rolls around. I wish I had done all these when Trevor was still alive.
Rest in peace, Trevor. Rest in peace, TJ. I love you, Angel.
"Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it." ~Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet In Heaven)
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