Are you there God? It's me, Kristine.

*This entry is not meant to offend anyone's beliefs or religion. I am simply stating my fears and thoughts. *

When someone you love dies, the most popular thing you hear people say to try and comfort you is that they're "in a better place now". Are they really? Where is that place? And why and how is it better? I was raised Catholic, but the last time I was in a church was for my Grandma's funeral back in January. I've always said that I would go back to regular mass on Sundays, but so far that hasn't happened. I've even reached out to an old high school friend that's training (is that the right word?) to become a priest. There were times when he's tried to help me but I always back out from the church activities he's invited me to.
The Catholic belief is that after you die, your soul/spirit goes to Heaven. Does that only apply to people? What about animals? The numerous amounts of ants that I've killed since we've lived in this house......did they have souls or spirits? Where did they go after they died?
I lost my best friend Trevor, 5 years ago in a motorcycle accident. He was only 20. Not a day goes by where I wonder why did he leave so soon? I do believe he is somewhere beautiful, but I don't know where that place is. I miss him everyday and wish I could see him again.
What if I suddenly die in an accident? Or discover I have a life threatening disease? What if I die before seeing my son grow up? What happens to me if I never find the answers I've been looking for? I desperately want to believe in something. Of course, I don't want to force myself to just "believe" like I feel like many people do out of the need of just "belonging". Sometimes I lie awake praying, but I don't know to whom. I feel like someone is listening but it also makes me uneasy because I don't know who/what this entity is.
I need help. I feel so lost. I feel so afraid. Are you there God? It's me, Kristine.........

I'm too sad to work on my NaNoWriMo today...

In the middle of writing my last blog entry, I heard from an old friend that our mutual friend Angel's little brother TJ had passed away in a motorcycle accident. If you know me, you know that 5 years ago I lost my best friend Trevor. He too, was on his motorcycle. He was hit in Dixon by a big rig that didn't see him. I visited the accident site this past September. The things surrounding the site (a Cattlemen's steakhouse across from it and an abandoned parking lot to the left of it) seem so cold and uninviting. To think that my greatest, bestest, most beautiful guy best friend had breathed his last breath there.
After Trevor's death, I told myself that I never wanted anyone to experience the feelings that I felt on September 12, 2005. (The day he died.) Now, I always drive extra carefully whenever I'm sharing the road with motorcyclists. My godfather also died in a motorcyle accident. I was just a baby so I don't remember him. The point of this blog is not to say that motorcycles are bad or dangerous, or that these 3 deaths have something in common.
The picture above is of Angel and her 2 brothers. TJ is on the left. I only met him once, this past March at a party. I took this picture about 3 seconds after I met him. I didn't know him at all, only having said probably about 5 words to him, but he seemed to be kind hearted and welcoming when I met him. And of course, so handsome! I know how much Angel loved her brother...he was her best friend. I can't even fathom losing a sibling.
Many years ago, Angel and I worked for the same company. We partied with the same crowd but eventually grew apart. I still care about her greatly. In hindsight, I wish I could tell her to hold her brother close. Closer than she already had. I wished I had told Trevor just how important he was to me. I don't remember ever telling him that I loved him.
Angel and I still comment each other on Facebook from time to time. I just now noticed that TJ had commented on my picture that I posted. "Bob Marley everyday." he said. It seems a little detached to leave my condolences on her Facebook page. If Angel ever finds this blog post, I hope I don't come across as being disrespectful to her or her family for writing this. I so desperately want to be there for her. It also seems out of the blue to call her and I know she just wants to be surrounded by her family. My heart is breaking for her. So I say to everyone: always tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Never part or go to bed angry at each other. Even if you hadn't talked to someone in a millon years, at least wish them "happy birthday" when their special day rolls around. I wish I had done all these when Trevor was still alive.
Rest in peace, Trevor. Rest in peace, TJ. I love you, Angel.

"Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it." ~Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet In Heaven)

I like girly men. I also like women that could probably kick my butt!

I'm not sure if you know this about me but I have a strange taste in.... people? I'm not using the word "taste" as in I'm trying to find a spouse. I've pretty much been married since I graduated high school. (From the moment I met Monsieur Voice, I always knew we'd get married. Weird, huh?) Anyway! That's not what this post is about.

I was thinking about my celebrity "crushes". I'm not sure what else to call it. I don't necessarily want to make whopee with any of them (or do I? Heh heh heh....) But the people that I find absolutely downright GORGEOUS in the media/on tv/in movies all have something in common. The women have muscles. The men look waaay hotter in high heels and fishnet tights than I have ever thought I would.

I recently watched "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in its entirety with Monsieur Voice and BLV. I've seen bits and pieces of it before when I was younger but didn't pay much attention to it. I found out it was on Netflix so I decided to watch it. I couldn't take my eyes off of Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter. I never thought I would say this about Mr. Curry but he makes one sexy transvestite! I know I'm not the only gal who loves it when a man can work those high heels and dominatrix teddy, right?

Then there's Johnny Weir. With his fabulously curled eyelashes and his graceful swan-like moves on the ice. He too, can rock the high heels. He recently competed in Kelly Ripa's high heel race in New York City. Never in a million years could I walk, let alone RUN in high heels. I guess in a way, I am jealous but he and Tim Curry a la Dr. Frank-N-Furter are just tooooo beautiful to stay mad at! Am I right or am I right? ;)

If you know me in real life (or even semi know me since I've talked about her in my vlogs) I am such a fangrrl of Jillian Michaels! I strive to have sculpted, strong arms like hers. The way she barks out orders while I'm sweating pools and pools of gross salty perspiration makes my heart go a-flutter with adoration. I've also had a little thing for Jackie Warner, another female celebrity trainer. (I much prefer her with her shorter hair style, might I add.) And uhh....I've tried to think of a reason I like Jackie so much but I can't quite think of one. She's just hot. Haha.

I don't even like the terms "girly man" or "manly woman" but I can't quite think of a way to put it that people will understand what I'm talking about. I know I'm not the only one like this! Who does your fangirl/fanboy heart pine after? =)

TAG! I'm it!

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile! I've been way too busy with the 30 day challenge on YouTube. Today I filmed the very last video so back to blogging! =) I was tagged by Hazel (http://marielovesbooks.blogspot.com). Magic number 4!

4 things in my purse:
*vanilla sugar lotion
*floss
*wallet
* Macy's gift card

4 things in my desk
I don't have an actual desk. I use the dining room table when I write and read. Sad huh? I miss my desk at my parents' house! =(

4 things in my bedroom
*bookshelf
*photo album of my "party days"
*dresser drawer with pictures of me and my husband on top
*a huge TV we rarely use

4 things I always wanted to do (but haven't done yet)
*See a show on the real Broadway
*Write a book
*Open up my own dance studio
*Go on a date with Johnny Weir (hahaha that'll never ever happen!)

4 things I enjoy very much at the moment
*Youtube! I am on there everyday watching random videos.
*Willow Smith's "Whip my hair". I've been "giggin" to that song for the past couple days now!
*Barrett saying something new and funny everyday.
*The Halloween decorations that Barrett and I put up.

4 songs I can't get out of my head
*I guess "Whip My Hair" belongs here. =)
*The Wizard and I
*Somebody to Love by Queen
*The Spongebob theme....Barrett loves that show.

4 things you don't know about me
*I like to write and act out little skits with Barrett. We have our own theatre club. LOL
*I am a closet ABBA fan!
*I don't want anymore children. Although if we had a little surprise, I'd still be happy. =)
*I don't really know how to swim but I think I was a mermaid in another life.

I don't know enough bloggers to tag anybody. Whoever is reading this.....I tag you! =)

Top 5 Sexiest Book Heroes!

I am participating in Larissa's top 5 list of sexiest book heroes! This was actually really hard for me to come up with....I can think of my top 5 sexiest book heroines easily though! Heehee! If you want to participate too here's Larissa's blog: http://www.larissaslife.com/2010/09/top-5-sundays-7-sexiest-book-heroes.html Without furthur ado, here's my list!

1) Dirk (Weetzie Bat)
2) Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre)
3) Jared Howe (The Host)
4) Jacob Black (Twilight Saga)
5) Iron Horse (Iron Fey) I hope I don't get accused of beastiality...but I'm talking about Iron Horse in his "human like" form, of course! ;)

Runner-up: Mikael Blomkvist (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)

What are your top 5?

Lobster killer....qu'est-ce que c'est?

Isn't that little picture cute? It's the new background image on my Twitter profile. You can't really read it but it says: She was the type of girl who believed we can be anything (and everything!) we want to be. =)

Today was a movie filled day. In the morning, I took Barrett to get some Jamba Juice and then we saw "Toy Story 3" for the second time. We got there super early and once the previews started, he got so bored, he ran out of the theater. OY VEY! We sat outside the door until the actual movie started. You don't realize how many previews they show until you're with a fussy, bored 2 year old. The previews PLUS that silly little Pixar short they show before the movie took 20 minutes! What the??? Barrett was fine once he saw Buzz and Woody on the screen. I don't think I'll be taking him to see another movie in the theaters for awhile. He is super obsessed with all the Toy Story movies so I'm lucky there.......if I took him to see another kiddie movie and he ended up not being interested in it, that would suck if we had to leave. Movie tickets are expensive! Even if you go to the early bird showing. Or is this just me showing how much of a cheapo I can be?

After the movie, we went home so Barrett could take a nap. I decided to relax and watch a couple movies on Netflix. I chose "Julie & Julia" and "World's Greatest Dad". J&J was really cute. I loved the scene where Julie was having trouble killing the lobsters and her husband was singing a Talking Heads song. Instead of "Psycho killer" he said "Lobster killer!" Haha. "World's Greatest Dad" was such a great movie as well. It might even be added to my favorite movies of all time list. It was a little dark but it had its funny moments too. Robin Williams was wonderful in it. There's a quote at the end that made me go "Truuuuue dat!" Lance Clayton (Mr. Williams' character") states: " I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people that make you feel all alone." I won't go into detail about what the movie is about. You need to watch it! Nobody reads this blog but still......you imaginary readers in my head need to watch this movie! =)

Tomorrow is already Wednesday. Summer weeks always go by so fast. I still need to get my nephew a birthday present. He turns 4 on Sunday! I also need to get a baby shower gift for Laura (her shower is on Saturday) and ingredients to make 7 layer dip.

I'm going to go get Barrett ready for bed, do some pilates, then conk out myself. Namaste!

That's wiggity wiggity WACK!

Yup that's me! I don't even know how old I was here. My dad brought over a whole bunch of pictures from storage and we were looking through them. He's making a DVD for my mom and his anniversary. =) My sis and I were such cute kids. In a lot of my baby/toddler pictures, I look like Barrett with long black hair. HAHA!

ANYWAY! It's about 80 degrees in the house right now. I did have the air conditioning on but it makes Barrett sneezy. I think the vents need to be cleaned. I was using the stand alone fan at first but that was making Barrett sniffly. I looked inside the fan and didn't see any dust. Maybe Barrett is just bothered by cold air? Haha. Cold air and kitties make my son's allergies go out of control! The other morning, he woke up at 5 and had the FATTEST swollen eye I'd ever seen! Poor little guy. I wanted to call the doc but I just waited a couple hours and he was fine. I don't think there's any type of allergy medicine a 2 year old can take....which sucks.

I SWEAR by my flonase, claritin, and a bajillion inhalers that I use. I probably wouldn't be alive without them. Hah! Wah Wah wahhh..... (Charlie Brown's teacher's voice.) Barrett and I have just been trying to keep busy whilst Monsieur Voice is away on business in Malaysia. He comes back July 16. I've been trying to make vlogs for him so he doesn't miss Barrett so much but I'm using my old camera for that and compared to the HD camera I got for Mother's Day....all the videos look like POOPY! Poopy I say! =( Ryan took the pretty camera with him.

My mom, sis, and I took Barrett to the county fair on Saturday. That was tons of fun. We stayed from about 11am-5pm. I didn't think Barrett would last that long but he only had a couple minor tantrums. I wanted to go to Children's Wonderland tomorrow but they're CLOSED on Tuesdays! So is Happy Frog! What the? Conspiracy, much? =( On Wednesday night, my sis and I are going to try and see Eclipse. We're gonna be teenyboppers for a night. Wahoo! So excited!

Are you guys a fan of anyone's vlogs on youtube? I thought they were silly until I found this guy named Timothy de la Ghetto aka Traphik. http://www.youtube.com/user/theTimothyDeLaGhetto#p/u/20/MgjEOAovnrk There's the link to his channel. He's a rapper/artist/comedian. He's hilarious! He also has comedy skits on his main channel but I mostly like his vlogs about his everyday life. I never thought I'd be a fan of some random person on youtube. I don't even remember how I found him. I left him a comment on his Facebook wall and he actually responded. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Traphik/265878373825?v=wall&story_fbid=409571848825&ref=mf Crazy fan, much? Buaha!

For the past couple weeks, I've been really good about exercising. I've done either the 30 day shred (I'm on Day 9 of Level 2 now) or alternate between Jillian's other DVDs "Banish Fat Boost Metabolism" and "No More Trouble Zones". I think I did something funky to my right knee though. It feels funny so I'm taking a couple days off to rest. Which sucks! I don't know what else to do now that I can't exercise. Booooo.

Barrett is watching "The Fairly Oddparents" right now and one of the characters said "That's wiggity wiggity WACK!" which is hilarious because I was just singing that song earlier today. I'm special. =) That's all for now folks! I like how I said I was going to do weekly blogs but it's turning into monthly. Love, Peace, Skeet, and Cheeeeese! ~Traphik =)

The END! And Wicked!

"Lost" is over but I'm still probably going to be talking and thinking about it a few months from now. I actually started watching Season 1 again with new eyes. With everything I know now...it's exciting!

What did everybody think of the finale? (I say "everybody" like anybody actually reads this. Buaha!) I was hoping they wouldn't settle for the "we're all dead" ending.....but they did it in a way that was just lovely in my opinion. So as I understand it.....EVERYTHING that happened on the island actually was real. The sideways reality was just some sort of purgatory they all created for themselves after the characters died on their own terms....and they needed everybody to "wake up" (as in: remember their time on the island) in order to move on. Some of them died on the island....some died back on the mainland. I could go into detail about what theories I've been thinking about late at night while coughing my lungs out (I'm still sick. Boo!) but for the anti-Lost people, I will save you your bewilderment. I will miss being addicted to the confusion that Lost brought me! But I always thought it over and came to my own conclusions......which made me not confused anymore. That's what I loved about "Lost". We weren't spoon fed anything. We Americans always want a straight answer to everything. Leaving a little mystery and room to actually think for ourselves is very refreshing when it comes to television shows. "I never understood trekkies until I became a Lostie!" Sooo true! =P

On Saturday, I finally saw "Wicked" in San Francisco. It was absolutely positively wonderful! I was a little disappointed that Eden Espinosa wasn't going to play Elphaba (I'd heard great things about her!) but I was quickly impressed with Alyssa Fox! What a beautiful voice! She really rocked "Defying Gravity". I was fist pumping during that whole scene! I am trying to save up my money to go at least one more time before the last show in September. Maybe for my birthday? =)

For some reason I can't shake this chest cold. I've been congested and coughing for almost 2 weeks. It's so annoying. I haven't been able to exercise or put my Jillian Michaels DVD to use. I'm so bummed. When (if?) I actually get better I will be back to square one. I want to lose like 10 pounds by my birthday but I don't see that happening. C'est la vie. I haven't really been super sick in awhile.....just the occasional allergies or a cold...so I guess it's just my time to feel miserable. I hope it doesn't turn into bronchitis or pneumonia! You're supposed to get a lot of sleep and drink lots of liquids.....but I don't know how I can do that with 2 little boys running around...not to mention when I drink a lot of liquids all I do is end up peeing every 5 minutes. It's annoying! I don't know how this turned into a rant post! Let's end on a happier note.....

I think I'm going to continue with Season 1 of Lost and decide which episode is my favorite. Barrett and Owen are making a mess on the floor with Cheerios......ughhhh....gotta go deal with that. Later taters!

A letter to "Lost" from a mere simpleton....

Dear Lost,

Thank you. Thank you for your twists and turns, for your lovable characters (and sometimes hateable characters but their revealed background stories always made them lovable in the end), and the moments that made me go "Ohh snap!" and "Oh no they didn't!" (Yes, sometimes I turned into a typical horror movie-goer when I watched you.) Never before has a television series made me stay up at night thinking about life, alternate realities, sideways realites, mythology, religion, physics, history, and even classic literature. Thank you for your heartfelt messages and your ever so familiar confusion. It's kind of sad that without you, everything on television is now just mindless entertainment. (Although there's nothing wrong with that. Bring it on, Desperate Housewives season 7!) I learned to accept the fact that the more questions you answered, the more questions I had. Not everything has a straight answer and not everything NEEDS to be answered. I feel very sorry for the people that gave up on you or never took the chance to get to know you. Although you ended in one of my expected theories, you did it in a way I never thought of. I love you and I'll miss you. I will honor your memory by watching Season 1 this week. (Thanks to your buddy, Netflix!)

Love,

Steeny =)

Yes, I would LOVE to banish my fat....

"Operation: Tankini" has sadly taken a backseat. =( I woke up yesterday morning with a scratchy throat and an annoying cough. I drank so much hot tea and now I'm sick of it. (And I am a tea person!) How ironic since the day before I bought a yoga mat, a scale, and Jillian Michael's "Banish Fat Boost Metabolism" DVD. All her videos are super cheap! $9 at Target! This workout used to be OnDemand in its entirety but now they only show like 20 minutes of it? What the? It's actually 40 minutes! I used to do this workout almost everyday last spring and summer. I'm really tired of my sporadic exercising. I miss being not chubby Steeny. Haha. Hopefully next week, I'll be able to start exercising again. =)

This past weekend was very eventful! Barrett and I went to Cornelius' 3rd birthday party on Saturday. Barrett spent almost the whole time sliding down the slides and running around with his Spongebob balloon. He is super obsessed with Spongebob. I don't even know how it started.....::sigh::

On Sunday, Barrett and I went to Tilden Park in Berkeley with Julie, Owen, and my mother-in-law. I had no idea it even existed! We went to the Little Farm and fed the cows! We also saw goats, sheep, a mama pig and her piglets, turkeys, chickens, and chicks! Then we rode the merry-go-round (twice! and I got super dizzy!), and had a nice picnic by Lake Anza. I can't wait to go back!

This coming Saturday, I'm finally going to see Wicked! I read the book when it first came out, and when I found out there was a musical based on it, I've wanted to see it. This is a years-long wish that's finally coming true! (I sure do dream big, don't I? Hahaha!) Even if I am still a little sick, I am NOT missing it! I guess I will be the one person I hate during theater performances. The cough attack! (I actually have many pet peeves about theater-goers....ESPECIALLY ones that attend the ballet but that's for another post!) You know when it's all quiet during an important part of a performance and then THE COUGH ATTACK decides to start??!! I know they probably can't help it. They usually keep theaters and auditoriums kinda warm so the dry air makes people cough... And I'm a hypocrite since that will probably be me on Saturday but ehhh c'est la vie!

In other random Steeny news....I made an appointment with Cheesepie (Nicci to others!) to do an updo for my cousin-in-law's wedding. I'm so excited! I rarely get to dress up. I don't even know what I'm wearing but it's not for a couple weeks so I guess I still have time. We also have another wedding to go to in July. I love weddings! I cry at all of them. I even cried at mine. Hahaha. So cheesy!

Is anybody excited about but also dreading the SERIES finale of "Lost"? I actually loved the episode where they explained how Jacob and the smoke monster came to be. A lot of people thought it was stupid....but I was hoping for some fantasy godly myth type of reason as to why they were on "the island"....so when that episode came on I was dancing in my seat! I can't wait for the finale on Sunday but I will also be in mourning.

Today is just going to be a lazy couch and nap day. Barrett and Owen have been watching Sesame Street and Nickelodeon shows all morning. I guess I'll fold some laundry and wait for naptime. Later taters!

Workout Plan

Sunday-
Walk/jog 2 miles in the morning
Strength training at night

Monday-
Walk/jog morning
Cardio night

Tuesday-
Walk/jog morning
Strength afternoon
Yoga night

Wednesday-
Walk/jog morning
Cardio

Thursday-
Walk/jog morning
Toning

Friday-
Walk jog morning
Strength

Saturday-
Walk jog morning
Toning

This is just a rough outline of what I'm planning to do to lose these blasted 8 pounds. 10 pounds would be ideal but I just want to get back to what I weighed this past summer. I might switch it up if I get bored though.

Operation: TANKINI

I took a week long hiatus from exercise and just started up again last night. I found a bunch of ONDemand videos called "Bikini Revolution". They claim that by sticking to their routines, you can be bikini ready in 21 days. I didn't believe them at first, but I tried one of the 30 minute cardio workouts last night and I was DYING at the end of it! They do 5, 10, and 15 reps of a certain exercise like burpees or mountain climbers, then in between they do 30 seconds of jump roping and 30 seconds of punching with weights. You NEVER stop moving. It's ridiculous! I made it through but now my ankles are killing me. They don't really do a proper warm up and cooldown/stretches so you have to take it upon yourself to do that.

So SUPPOSEDLY if I stick with this (they have another 30 minute cardio video, along with a toning video and a yoga one) I should be able to wear a bikini by May 30th? I really don't care if I never wear a bikini again. I will settle for a TANKINI! I have a cute green one I bought at Old Navy last summer....I've gained about 8 pounds since then. I just want to be able to fit in my skinny jeans again and look decent in a one piece swimsuit. Operation: TANKINI! Who's with me? =)

The picture is of me last summer in said green tankini. I didn't even realize how thin I was back then until I found out how much weight I gained this past winter. LOL

Onto other things, Barrett's birthday party was tons of fun. Kinder's BBQ catered, I made 7 layer dip, and my sister brought a bunch of lumpia. Yummmm-o! On Barrett's actual birthday which was the next day, we were over at Grandma Voice's house and he smacked his nose against the wooden arm of a chair. His nose didn't bleed (which surprised me considering how hard he hit it) but it was super bruised! He looked like a UFC fighter. LOL I took him to the doctor and he turned out to be fine. I was worried they'd think I did it to him. Poor abused looking baby. =(

My Mother's Day was wonderful....although all 3 of us were sick. I started feeling sick on Cindo de Mayo when Ryan and I went to the Coheed and Cambria concert. (I need to update more. I feel like when I do update there is so much crap that happened that it gets jumbled together in one big blob of blah haha). We went to the meet and greet before the show and met the band. They signed my Year of the Black Rainbow book and I got starstruck at Claudio's dreamy hair. =P Lots of people were smoking the ganja during the show and it started messing with my sinuses. I'm not sure if I had a cold or what but I called my doctor and she prescribed me some Flonase.

Barrett was a little wheezy and sniffly but he's getting better. Ryan is not feeling well now. I feel bad. =( I bought him some Odwalla drinks and have been making him tea and giving him Nyquil. Hopefully he feels better soon. Oh yeah about Mommy's Day! I guess Ryan thought it was on Saturday so I got my presents then. I got the new Kodak Easyshare digital camera in a metallic purplelish color (which I already knew I was getting), and a pink sapphire pendant necklace with dimaond accents. (Which I had NO idea I was getting.) I'm not really into fancy jewelry since I always feel like I'll either break it or lose it, but it's preally pretty! My parents had some chocolate covered strawberries delivered to my house and they were scrumptious!

I still haven't eaten breakfast yet. Well I ate a granola bar before I did my morning 2 mile walk/jog but I probably should eat something again. I will let you know how my journey goes on losing my Winter weight. Toodles for now!

Long time no blog!

Happy April, everyone! Did anybody get fooled today? I DIDN'T! I never believe what people say on this day so I don't talk to anybody until April 2nd. Haha!

ANYWAY! So much has happened since I last posted. My friend Reasey was visiting for Spring Break and she threw a Rasta party. It was so much fun! I twisted my hair into psuedo dreads and did my eye makeup with Rasta colors. You can't really see in this picture though. That's my Rea Rea with me!

The Monday after her party, I hosted a "Taco Night". I love to cook for my friends. =) Barrett had fun showing off for all his Aunties. We also took a last minute trip to Baskin-Robbins and watched "This Is It" while Barrett danced to all of MJ's songs.

This past Saturday we went to Children's Wonderland with Julie, John, and Owen. The weather felt like summer that day! Then we went to Benicia to have lunch and we walked around downtown.

Ryan and I FINALLY figured out what we're doing for Barrett's 2nd birthday party. I really wanted it to be at Children's Wonderland but it seemed so expensive. $80 for a group of 12? What a small party. So we're just going to have his party at the Community Park in Benicia like we did last year. I went to City Hall and reserved a spot already. I'm so excited! Now I just have to find Handy Manny party decorations. Party City didn't have any. Last year I remember they had an ENTIRE section dedicated to that fool. Nothing this year. Just my luck! =(

Spring Break has been fun but the one thing I didn't start up again was excersing! I saw the doctor last week because for the past month, my hands and feet have been tingling. It comes and goes throughout the day. They did some bloodwork to see if I had diabetes but my glucose/fasting result was only one point above average. My doctor's advice was to start excersing again, stay away from sugary foods, and get plenty of sleep. I made the mistake of looking at my past doctor visit information from August. I was so skinny back then! I gained 6 pounds over Winter. How gross. I went from waking up at the butt crack of dawn to jog around the waterfront/doing cardio at night with Jillian Michaels to playing Cafe World and Farmville and watching Johnny Weir videos throughout the day. Hahaha.

Seriously! Tomorrow I will wake up early to at least use the jump rope I bought a couple months ago. Somebody check up on me tomorrow!

Desperately seeking...Aesha Ash!

Okay...maybe not DESPERATELY seeking. But seeking, nontheless! Aesha Ash was Zoe Saldana's dance double in the movie "Center Stage". I googled her name and couldn't find anything recent. She used to be with Alonzo King's LINES ballet company in San Francisco in 2005...so I went to the company's website but she's not listed as one of the dancers.

I found her blog but the last post was dated February of 2009 and nowhere does it say where she's dancing. What in the????

Haha. I know I sound a little stalkerish but I just want to find out where I can find her performing. I keep reading a lot of articles on how she's one of the first African-American prima ballerinas in one of the country's most famous ballet companies....and the thought never occurred to me until I read that. I know San Francisco Ballet has people of all races and backgrounds...I believe one of their soloists is an African-American male.... Anthony Spaulding.

I don't know how this post ended up being race but....anyway! Bottom line! Does anybody know what happened to Aesha?

Here she is dancing in "Center Stage". The video is kind of crappy but it's the only one I found on Youtube. The close-ups are Zoe Saldana but all the fancy "en pointe" dancing is all Aesha!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnRTodDNRr4

I found this video as well! Aesha's performance with LINES ballet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X04hkBvNoGw

She's just beautiful! =)

Speechless....

I know I'm probably late on this Lady Gaga phenomenon, but I heard this song for the first time today and thought it was just beautiful.

http://www.vevo.com/watch/lady-gaga/speechless-live-at-the-vevo-launch-event/USUV70904460

Johnny's angel

We don't get the Sundance channel but for some reason I'm able to watch their OnDemand shows...a couple nights ago I watched the first part of "Pop Star on Ice", the documentary on Johnny Weir. There's also a newer reality show about him called "Be Good Johnny Weir" but that probably won't be on OnDemand for awhile. Boo! =( Is it crazy to say I have a little girly crush on him? There have been previous times where I liked more um...."feminine" if you will....guys. I don't know what it is about them. The way they can pull off being more girly than I could ever be is probably what attracts me to them the most. Which is odd...considering who I married. Ryan is probably the most masculine man I've ever known. (Besides my Daddy, of course!)

Johnny is just so flippin adorable with his cute little face and his eyelashes and the random things he talks about. Plus he's so graceful on the ice! What a great figure skater. =) Listen to me....I sound like a 13 year old!

Well watch this and tell me he does not amaze you. Or if he's not for you, that's cool too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnUMOrd_ANI Girls, tell me I'm not alone in this weird fascination I have for sparkly boys. ;)

Also, here's the commercial for his new show. Looks just fabulous! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhO-eruh6b8&feature=response_watch

Late update! Je suis désolée!

Dobroye utro! As I'm typing I'm also looking up information about Johnny Weir. Does anybody else like him or am I just crazy? I started following him on Twitter a couple days ago and was watching old videos on Youtube of him skating. He's so flippin cute! I don't know why I like him so much. On Wikipedia, it says he's a "Russophile" which means someone that is in love with the Russian culture/language. So does that mean I'm a "Francophile"? Why does that sound kind of perverted? Haha! Anyway, I don't know why but ever since I was 5 years old I've always wanted to be fluent in French and go to Paris. My French is pretty rusty nowadays but I could hold lengthy conversations while in high school and college. ::sigh:: When I was 17, I went to Paris with my high school French class. I want to go back so desperately but I don't see myself traveling until I'm old and wrinkly. C'est la vie!
Okay I'm off topic now. So cleaning the house and making sure it stays clean during the day plus watching the Olympics at night while still trying to stick to Barrett's dinner/bath/bedtime schedule has me busy so I haven't had a chance to write. The boys are coloring pictures for Great Grandma right now and being so nice and quiet so I decided now would be a good chance to tell you about my past days!
On Saturday, my mom and I went to see the San Francisco Ballet. They did "Balanchine Masterworks" which was lovely as usual. Oh! Before the ballet, we stopped by a little restaurant up the street of the opera house called the Gyro King. We got chicken gyros and hummus and it was DEEEEElicious!
The next day was Valentine's day and I made Barrett and Ryan a little brunch made of strawberries, maple sausages, and French toast that I cut into heart shapes. =) Then later that night, we had a drive by present shooting! Well...my mom sent me a text message earlier that day asking if she could stop by but my phone was on silent so I never noticed it. So when our doorbell rang that evening, we thought it was John with Ryan's PS3 but instead it was my Mommy's lovely face along with a bag full o' goodies! A little caterpillar toy for Barrett, yummy cookies from Trader Joe's, a heart box of chocolate, hummus and pita bread (my favorite!), and a necklace for me that says "Daughter Mother Friend". It's so pretty. My Mom is the best! =)
*Well...never mind about peace and quiet! Barrett needed his diaper changed just now. Then when I went into his room, I saw that the boys piled all of the toys in his crib. When in heaven's name were they able to do THAT? It took awhile to tell them to put them away. THEN I had to empty out Barrett's diaper genie in the outside trash, and found the neighbor from across the street's SCARY dog barking at me. He escaped and was standing on the street just barking at me about ready to attack! His owners are not home so I don't know what I should do. Good thing Barrett wasn't outside with me. Dogs are my favorite animal but THIS dog is a little sketchy to me. =(
This was just a rambling entry. Ma vie est folle! Eh..not really. It's actually quite boring but when one odd thing after another odd thing happens it can seem like it. TGIF everyone! Bon week-end! =)

Tu amor....I will always be tu amor....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6WjGKmomXE I had this song stuck in my head as I was falling asleep last night. Then I started daydreaming (is it still called that at night?) and choreographing a lyrical dance in my head to the song. I haven't taken dance classes in years! I used to be such a hardcore ballerina. LOL! Anyway...I started thinking if I knew of any good male dancers that could dance it with me. I could think of 2 guys that I used to take classes with in Napa but I think they've moved far away. I'm such a weirdo sometimes. Who thinks of these things? =P
When I finally fell asleep, I had a dream that I and some unknown male dancer were dancing the piece I roughly choreograhped in my daydream. Both of my Grandmas were in the audience. My Grandma that only lived like 5 minutes away from me passed away in December and my Grandma that lived in San Diego passed away last month. I was so surprised that both of them visited me in my dreams at the same time. I wonder what that means? I miss them both so terribly.

"Estaras siempre en mi corazon. You're the one in my soul that I live for. Tu amor...."

Drive thru FAIL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvubKql-LwA&feature=channel My most recent embarrassing moment. I really need to work on my storytelling skills.....LOL.

Doppel what? Doppel who? Doppelganger!

So this week, everyone is posting a picture of their celebrity look-alikes or "doppelganger" as their default on Facebook. I was seriously getting depressed because I don't think I resemble anyone famous...nor has anyone said I looked like anybody else. Well....except when I was in the 6th grade and everyone was saying who they thought everyone looked like and someone said I looked like Samantha from "California Dreams" just because I was "Chinese". Growing up, EVERYONE thought I was Chinese. Whenever I tried to correct them they'd say: "What's a Fil...Filipino??" It was so frustrating! My Dad was in the Navy when I was younger so we moved around a lot. When we moved to Vallejo when I was 13, I was actually astounded that people knew what a Filipino was. And now they're everywhere! Hahaha. Anyway!
Do you know what the true meaning of a "doppelganger" is? Wikipedia, if you please!

"A doppelganger is the ghostly double of a living person, a sinister form of bilocation. The word is also used to describe the sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance it could have been a reflection. They are generally regarded as harbingers of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelganger seen by a person's friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one's own doppelganger is an omen of death."

Pretty spooky, eh? I love it! Anyway, I just thought I'd share what the true meaning of doppelganger was. My sister said I could be Ariel, the Little Mermaid (if I was a redhead!) since I'm obsessed with mermaids or "sirenas" if you well. My favorite movie of all time is Disney's "The Little Mermaid". Oh and we're going to see San Francisco Ballet's version in March! I'm so excited because they are basing their version on the darker, more mature themes of the story.

I think I'm going to do a "January favorites" video tomorrow night while my husband is off with his friends watching the UFC fight. I have so many new products I used last month! Not just beauty.....I also have some fun stuff I bought for Barrett that I love...and some cleaning products! (My cinnamon bathroom is sparkly white again, by the way!) I think the kiddies will be hungry for lunch in a little bit so c'est tout pour maintenant! Au revoir mes amis!

P.S. I am prone to speak "franglais" or "frenglish" from time to time. Haha! =)

Spriiiing cleaning! Spriiiing cleaning! In February!

Last night it took me FOREVER to get to sleep because I was thinking about all the cleaning I should be doing. Our house is pretty cluttered. It's hard to keep it as clean as I want it when an "almost" 2 year old is running around the house getting into everything. Maybe I'll feel better if my chore list is written down/typed out instead of it haunting my dreams.

1) Clean the bathrooms...especially the second one we never really use. Explanation! A few months ago, the small bathroom I normally only used to primp myself in (put on my makeup/do my hair) was overrun by ants! They were crawling all over the sink and in the shower. So gross! I read online that ants hate any kind of spices especially cinnamon so I sprinkled a whole bottle of cinnamon ALL over the sink, shower, and floor. Now there are no more ants but cinnamon stains all over! Do you think spices can eat into shower tiles? I seriously need to clean the shower. I bought some bathroom cleaner with bleach in it. Hopefully that will do the trick. We're only renting this house so that would suck if I ruined the nice white shower floor because of my super hatred for ants. =(

2) Tidy up the bookshelves. It used to only hold our huge DVD collection, Ryan's board games, and picture frames but we've gotten lazy and just threw all of our junk mail on the shelves. Everyday I pass the shelves and shudder at how cluttered it is.

3) Scrub the stovetop. Maybe clean the oven.

4) Clean out the fridge. I know we have a bunch of random condiments we don't use anymore.

5) Separate my clothes into warm weather and cold weather.

6) Organize the laundry room.

7) Get all of Barrett's random toys out from under the couches. There are random toy cars, blocks, etc. under there. The couches are so heavy I need to ask Ryan to help me but by the time he comes home from work, he always seems so tired. We'll get to this one of these years. Haha.

Okay.......after typing all this out I don't feel better at all. This list makes it seem like we live in a pigsty. We don't! I swear! I don't belong on Hoarders, honest! (I actually watch that show just to make me feel better.) I don't even know how long it will take me to get all of this done. Once it is done, it will probably be time for me to start cleaning all over again. It's hard to get things done while taking care of my son and nephew. Whenever I do try and clean they always want my attention, or are hungry/thirsty, or want to play a game. C'est la vie! Not to sound morbid, but when I'm at the end of my days what will I want to do one more time? Scrub cinnamon off the floor or play a game of hide and seek with the 2 little boys I love the most? I think we all know the answer to that. ;)

"What's in my Purse?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG_0RWMWe_s Here's my "What's in my Purse" video part one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0XQ_s9mHYI And part 2! I'm so awkward and creepy but whatever! Hahahaa.....

I'm back!

Hellooooo party people! I made this blog a few months ago and never really wrote anything of importance in it. I was going to delete it since I felt my life was kind of boring but then I decided to TRY and at least write in it once a week. It's always fun to look back and read old blog entries so I'm just going to tell myself I'm giving myself something to do in a few months. =)
My new recent obsession has been watching videos on Youtube! I know I sound ancient right now.....I've always known that the site existed but I never knew about the beauty tutorials! Thanks to that I now know what to do with my hair straightener besides straightening hair. Did you know you can curl your hair using a straightener? I have yet to try it since I rarely get anytime to myself (I'm a stay at home mom and I also watch my nephew during the week which I love doing by the way....no complaints here!) but maybe when Barrett goes to sleep tonight I will try and mess with hairstyles.
I don't know why I have the sudden urge to give myself a makeover. I think it would just be fun since most of the time I'm in lounge wear/PJs. What's the point of getting all gussied up if you're just going to be wiping up poopy butts and runny noses and cleaning up food spills all day? (Sorry if any of you are eating while reading this haha!) It always cracks me up on Desperate Housewives (one of my favorite shows EVER) how they always have Gaby or Susan looking all smoking hot in high heels just doing chores around the house. In reality it's probably just socks/slippers, sweatpants, a stained shirt, and unkempt hair.
I'm really thinking of doing a "What's in my purse/handbag" video and post it on Youtube. Depending on how awkward I look/sound. Heehee! All I've been watching today are those videos and I don't know why I'm so interested in what's in other girls' handbags. <~~~ It took me about 4 tries to finish that sentence. I was making lunch for the kiddies. So ANYWAY if anybody else wants to do the WIMP (haha I made an acronym for What's in my Purse" and it actually spells a word! I'm a genius!) video let me know so I won't feel as dorky doing mine. That's all for now! I have more to write about but I have to clean up after the boys eat their lunch. They are gobbling down their food like it's nobody's business! I love full tummies because next comes nap time! Toodle-ooo for now! =)